Emotional Awareness is the Key to Change

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2018 has been all about emotional awareness for me. Getting control of my emotions - and now that I am finally in the driver's seat, I realize it's not my mind I had to master, it was my EMOTIONS that needed mastering. It is not what I thought about things, it is how I felt about them. 

Something happened, I interpreted it based on my beliefs, assumptions, expectations, which caused a feeling, which drove my behavior. The feeling however is the magnet. It contains the charge which together with a thought creates an energetic reaction. I saw it over and over again. Not only was this the case, my emotions were what drove whether I had peace or not. And PEACE is PRICELESS. When I'm peaceful, I'm happy. When I'm peaceful, I'm calm, I'm creative, intuitive, I'm everything I want to be. 

So I started to work on my emotions - how I felt about the facts in my life. I can't always change the facts, but I can change how I feel about them. And when I change how I feel about them, I affect them. I was able to change circumstances in my business by how I felt about them. I was able to wiggle out of challenges, create ideal outcomes just by changing how I felt about them. I was able to affect other people just by changing how I felt about them. Now, there were layers within these relationships that I once I dug in, I saw it led to unprocessed emotions, old memories and lots of unresolved feelings I had to face. But once I did - LIBERATION. And VOILA, it shifted like FUCKING MAGIC. Here's how it works:

Something happened years ago, and when you talk about it, you still get riled up by it. You can feel the emotional charge when you think about it. PERFECT thing to use. This tells me you have an unprocessed emotion in your body, an emotional charge which causes you to (1) get triggered whenever anything similar or that reminds you of this unconsciously (2) attract similiar patterns in your life - limiting opportunities for you to resolve this. 

Example: You got hurt by someone in your past - an ex, a friend, a parent, a boss. What we want to do is neutralize the way you feel about this memory. Remember, it's just information, you are the one creating meaning behind it, which continues to cause you to suffer. Ways to do this is first forgiving yourself - did you have expectations about how you should've handled it, or what you should've done or not done?

Next forgive the other, try to see why this may have happened. When I started to learn about how the brain works, and how habitual we are, it helped me find compassion easily. What also helped was to see what I gained from the situation - remember it's a spiritual journey, one that we have chosen - taking responsibility for everything that comes into my awareness, helped me forgive and to neutralize any emotions I had.

Check in with yourself by thinking about it. It should drum up a feeling in the body - a sensation, pressure, anxiety - witness it, observe it without labeling it. By doing this, you claim power over the emotion. Repeat this exercise until the feeling goes away. What you focus on expands - so watch out because you may create more of the same in your reality. See it as an opportunity to resolve this. Take the challenge. It's a great thing - remember this is blocking you from inner peace and possibly your dreams. When you reclaim this attention, this power, you can use it to create.

Let me know how it goes in the comments or if you need further assistance! Some of the ways I used this was - financial abundance, forgiveness, people, compassion, marriage, children, clients, arguments, etc. 

 

Embracing Vulnerability Can Be the Greatest Thing You Do

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I've spent a HUGE part of my life worrying about what others think of me. Every decision in my life wondering what people will think of it. How will they react? Will they like it? Will it be too weird? Living my life for social acceptance. How exhausting! When I think back at my journey within this life theme, I have to say that becoming a mom was one of the biggest milestones that caused me to begin shifting out of this paralyzing state. Something shifted when I became a mom. Like I grew a set of confidence along with giving birth. I got so much courage when I realized I had someone else to live for. That was back in 2012. 

Then I became an entrepreneur - like a real one. Owning my law firm from 2011 to 2015 didn't feel like entrepreneurship because the business was so big, together with the fact I had business partners. In 2015 when I became a solopreneur, where my personal brand - ME- became the product, I was forced to be open to the world. Now all of a sudden EVERYONE was watching - or so I thought in my mind. I remember just making the decision from law to awareness mentoring was filled with thoughts of fear and worry because of what people would think. Until I stopped caring and realized I could live this life for the world or I could live this life for me. So I jumped..

Along the way I stumbled along a superpower. Vulnerability. The first time I was every REALLY vulnerable was on a stage in front of 250 women in 2015 for my first speaking engagement. I opened the speech up in a mask, and let out all my fears. You can see the speech here. And what followed was so surprising for me - someone who had always been so afraid of connection, afraid of being seen - my imperfections, my journey, my humanity. Yet for some reason, it was inspiring. I saw tears in the audience. Connection. Truth. Women came up to me afterwards and told me their story, their feelings, and how by me sharing my story and my truth, it helped them see they weren't alone. 

You see, vulnerability isn't a weakness. It's courageous. It takes courage to be who you really are. In an age where perfection is sold on the magazine stand, where social statuses are "liked", where we can control what people see - most of us don't post our bad days. We don't post pictures of ourselves without makeup, of our messy homes, or statuses of when we fucked up. We live in an age of facades. But if you bring it back to the beginning - children are vulnerable. They don't give a shit about what they wear, whether they have chocolate on their face, or what they say. They'll break down in a dance or a song in the supermarket, and wear crazy pants and tutu any day of the week. They show up in their truth even if it's melting down in public, no shame in their game. 

Shame. Why we aren't vulnerable. Shame is learned. When did we become ashamed of being ourselves? Whatever happened, it's time to let it go. It's time to share ourselves to each other. Because that's all it takes. One person to reveal what's beneath the mask. One person to shine in their humanity for others to say, wow I can do this too. It feels good to be myself, and it's actually easier and less tiring to just be me. 

So that's my commitment to you. To continue to be real. It's a daily practice. I still wear makeup. I still double think what I'm wearing - is it appropriate, will it make anyone uncomfortable. I still double read my posts, my blogs. But I share myself. I commit to sharing my journey. My mistakes. I'm working on the rest. I wear way less makeup - something I am doing for me and my daughter. And caring way less about what the world thinks. Where would we be if the visionaries of the world  worried about what others thought? We would not be where we are today. 

I will leave you with this quote by the beautiful Marianne Williamson, lead teacher of A Course in Miracles. 

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

cultivating compassion and forgiveness for others.

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It's such a hard thing to watch someone in your life stay stuck in their own situation. You can tell them how to change, what to shift, give them ideas and a way out - but most of the time, they need to see it for themselves first. Living in denial, this person begins to drown in their own story and misery, taking down anyone around them. What can you do? 

I've been in this situation many times. I've seen people completely that are totally shut down where their mind is so rigid and closed that nothing can get in. I've seen another situation where the person is usually more open, but perhaps are suffering from a temporary lock down of the mind. Either way, you find yourself helpless, with no control, and the more you try to help, or change the other person, the more fight you get back. 

What I've always recommended in these situations and what I do personally is remember how much can be done just within myself. I like to always bring it back to the spiritual journey. Seeing it from this lens takes the emotion of the situation, and stops me from taking anything personally. I remember to accept the situation as if I have chosen it, opening myself to learning the lesson, and seeing it as more of an assignment, rather than a personal 1 on 1 combat. 

Now that I've calmed down, and opened up my heart a little bit, I remember that everything is energy - that we are all connected. And that MUCH can be done through me and within me, because I am a part of this person and they are a part of me. 

So I start by holding up the mirror - what about this situation bothers me? How is it making me feel? Have I ever felt this way before and is it a recurring theme or pattern in my life? Have I ever been closed down, resistant, or stubborn about something in the past? How did I feel about being that way? I journey or self-reflect on these questions to see what within me created this situation. It has popped into my awareness for a reason, something within me emerging to the top has caused this to emerge in this individual, and now it has been brought to my attention. 

Whether or not answers have been revealed to me, I start to send lovingkindness and compassion to this person and me - the parts of me that reflect in the mirror - the parts of them I am resisting. I might even do some forgiveness work or prayers like the ho'oponopono:

Step 1: Repentance – I’M SORRY

Step 2: Ask Forgiveness – PLEASE FORGIVE ME

Step 3: Gratitude – THANK YOU

Step 4: Love – I LOVE YOU

Where I go through each within myself or out loud, telling the person in my mind's eye and heart, that I'm sorry for not seeing them as the divine being they are, asking for forgiveness, thanking them for showing me where I can be better or be healed, and loving them for being a part of me. 

Sometimes boundaries are needed - which can be done with power and love, rather than force and fight. The idea is to get yourself feeling better- raising your vibration about it, remembering who you are - source and love - and aligning yourself to it. I went through a phase of separating myself from those who drained me or left me feeling worse at some point in my life. But once I got strong enough and went through my own soul recovery, I came back to these people to bring the light. 

It's not our job to save anyone. But they are in your life for a reason - that I am certain of. The universe does not waste a single particle. Meditate, listen to what speaks to you within, and trust it. You know what you need.

Sending you lots of love today xoxoxo

Curiosity.

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There is a blindness in knowing.

The more we stay in our expertise, or the more we see life through the lens of "I know-it-all", things become second nature and we go into auto pilot. We take the space for granted and stop seeing the value in the world around us. Our defaults show up - whatever programs within us are usually active and commonly used, and so we see things as we've always seen them. 

Expertise can be just knowing what's its like to be in your marriage, or owning your company. It is not necessarily expertise in a field of study, it could also be being an expert in being you, and living your life. You begin to stop seeing it as if it were your first time your first job or owning a business, or the first time you met your significant other. Instead, you know (or think you do) what its like, and expect it to be the same day in and day out - thus bringing the past into every moment. 

Expertise can also be just living your life. I remember a moment I had on the sand in front of my condo. My daughter had just turned 2 and we were out enjoying the beach one evening after work. She picked up the sand in her little hand and stared out it, letting it run through fingers. So playful. So inquisitive. I remember thinking, when did sand become just sand for me? 

It was such a pivotal moment for me, especially at that point in my life. I was practicing law at my law firm and things were starting to get routine for me. I was beginning to lose passion and felt lifeless. Bringing curiosity into my life allowed me to begin to see things half full rather than half empty. It made me overall happier, and fearless and from that state I was able to do what I had to do - leave law and start my life's mission. Because when we are curious, we are inquisitive. We are not afraid, we are trusting, relaxed and at ease.

What if you were able to see life with curiosity?  Fearlessly flowing through life, looking at the moments of your life with imagination, magic, no judgment? Allowing each moment to unfold before your very eyes, trusting fully in the Universe and what it has for you. What if you could access that - time and time again.

I want to share a tool to help build your curiosity - it's foundation is in mindfulness and it super easy and practical. You'll learn tools just like this one in my retreat happening June 9 and 10

Research suggests that approaching situations and others with curiosity can not only make them more enriching but help us experience more happiness in life. Sometimes routines or preconceived notions cause us to lose interest in an activity or experience, often before we’ve ever really given it a chance. By forcing ourselves to pay closer attention to it, we may cease to take its strengths for granted and start to appreciate its value. In her book On Become an Artist, Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer writes that, as she ran studies using this exercise, she found that “it became clear that taking notice of things expands our appreciation of them.

Choose an activity that you think you are not interested in or even dislike, such as a daily task or chore. Alternatively, you could try something out of the ordinary for you, like listening to a genre of music that’s not your favorite, eating a food you disliked as a child, watching a sport you think is boring, or learning a hobby you’ve never before found intriguing. Try to let go of any expectations, positive or negative, that you have about the experience. Simply keep an open, curious mind. While engaged in the activity, take note of at least three new things about it that you have never noticed before. You may find your preconceived ideas changing, opening up new possibilities for interest and enjoyment in your life. Even if not, you will have added a few new and interesting things to your catalog of experience.

Sometimes all that is needed is a shift of perspective - seeing life through a different lens to make it more enjoyable. We can't always immediately change our circumstances so why not try to enjoy it - the essential feelings of attracting and creating what you really want in your life. 

I'd love to hear your experience with this exercise. Comment down below if you've used this and what you experienced!

Bloom Where You Are Planted

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This statement has really hit home for me in the recent months. I've been trying more and more to accept my experience exactly as it is - something that has been very difficult for me in the past years. I have always been someone who has strived for excellence, to hit the next level, keep achieving. That sort of life can be very exciting but also very exhausting, as there is always something to achieve, always a level to hit. I didn't give up achieving or being excellent, but I did become more intentional about accepting everything in my life, not trying to change it, not trying to make it something different. Instead, trusting that if it has appeared, it is because it was supposed to. And instead of resisting it with emotion, or preference, I've learned to let it flow right through me. 

An example of this has been health. In the recent months, both my kids and I have almost gotten sick multiple times. And by almost I mean, we begin to get symptoms - never turning into anything full blown. At the beginning of the year, I made an intention to begin to work on my own healing powers -something we all have access to. I believe in my own power as a creator, but I wanted to take it a step further and heal myself and my family. 

Ask and you shall receive. This year we've already had run in's with different "bugs" and I've been treating them all the same - a technique that worked for me when I was feeling like I was coming down with something, and I've been using it ever since. The crazy thing is that it has been working, and I've been getting so connected it's almost nuts. 

Let me explain. So let's use a past example. A few months ago, during the time of the flu outbreak- I began to hear stories of the flu everywhere. One day, I got brought down to my knees by something that appeared to be flu-like. I felt feverish, chills, pain in my body, and instantly I became "couched". I remember being so terrified because I started to think of my newborn and missing work, and everything that could potentially happen if I got sick with the flu for weeks, as so many people I had talked to had been. But then something happened. I remembered something. Oh shit. That's right. I am the motherfucking Universe! I can make anything I want happen. I can create my own reality. 

So intuitively I began to connect to the alleged virus in my body. Instead of resisting it, fearing it, panicking, I sent it love. I told it I was sorry on behalf of humanity for people being so afraid of it, not seeing it for the divine being it was. (If you don't see God in all, you don't see God at all, right?) This little bugger was a part of me, and me of it. Oneness. I started to understand that it didn't know any better. It was programmed to survive. I saw an innocence within it. And I know it sounds nuts, but I deeply connected to it. Like it was a part of the Universe. BECAUSE IT IS!!

And guess what happened next?? Poof. It was gone. I got up off the damn couch minutes later like nothing had ever happened. 

I know what you're thinking. Yeahhhh right. Ok I thought so too. Until I did it again. And again. And again. With pains, and aches and eyes, and shoulders, and stomachs. I did it to myself, my daughter, my son. 

So yeah. We are pretty magnificent. Able to heal. Able to bloom. Accept it. You're amazing. Trust, allow. It's all right here for you. 

 

xo 

 

M

Lessons from Speaking at TEDX

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So it's officially over. 

I spoke on my dream stage and it was everything I hoped it would be. 

I felt beautiful. I felt powerful. I felt like the true me came out that day. 

But it took A LOT of effing work. Way more than I thought it would be. But it was SOOOO worth it. And it brought out so much from inside of me. I grew. I got clarity. I gained perspective. 

And so as with any monumental milestone, the journey there is where the gems are. I am still processing it all, but I'm going to start with some of my big lessons. Some of the greatest hits from the past 2 months, where I literally stopped my life for this talk. I took a major pause on social media, being social and public, writing my book and pretty much everything else aside from the necessities.

I rewrote this thing at least 10 times, and had to recite it at each of the 5 rehearsals with the TEDx team/speakers - many of which I showed up with a different version of my speech because while I was practicing, I was still in the process of honing it down to what I wanted to say - the hardest part of this whole process.

But once I got it - I got itt. It was like it clicked and practice became easier, I became inspired and those I practiced it for were moved. So here is what I learned (so far) from speaking at TEDx: 

  1. Be prepared. I thought I would wing it, like I've done several times before on the stage, but for some reason, I didn't want to do it that way this time. I wanted to be Intentional. Impactful. I wanted to take the audience through a journey and make them feel things and learn things, and feel inspired. I know I am inspirational, but I knew it needed to be EXTRA good. So I wrote it out, and practiced like over 100 times, over and over and over again. I practiced the speech with the powerpoint. I practiced it with mistakes, stopping in the middle during a distraction and continuing on. I practiced with and without the timer. I recorded it and listened to it like it was my favorite song. I practiced it so much so I became the speech.
  2. Expect to win. This terrified the shit out of me. For a few weeks, I expected to lose. Expected to fail. That of course didn't serve me. It brought my energy down, I couldn't memorize and it would've created a completely different reality than what I wanted. Expect to win. We create our own reality. Why would I focus on what I don't want? I was forced to face my fears and surrender - so what if I messed up? So what if I forgot my lines? I expected to win but at the same time, surrendered. It's a fine line.. 
  3. Embrace the labor. It was a labor. That's what it felt like. Painful. Hard. Emotional. Climaxing. Waves. Sometimes I felt depressed. At one point I wanted to give up. But I had to keep reminding myself that it was necessary and to just embrace it. When would I do this again? When would the journey be in this exact way? NEVER. Even if I do a TEDx again, the moment would never be the exact same. So I embraced it for the sake of knowing it would be over and done with. I savored it. I breathed it in. Soaked in all the moments- the scary, the ugly, the breath-taking. I've never done it like this before. Never alllll of the moments. 
  4. Don't stop using your tools. This is probably the most important of all. When I felt low, when I felt the pain, I was tempted to stop meditating. To stop tapping into stillness. But this is probably the MOST IMPORTANT time to do it all. It keeps it all moving. 
  5. Be flexible. Change is constant. We are a process. Always moving. Always evolving. Nothing truly fixed. Like life. We sometimes want it to be fixed. A lot of the time we do. Because change can be scary. But change is the one thing you can be certain of. Embrace it. Flow with it. Ebb and flow like the ocean. 
  6. Surrender. When I was finally mic'd up and I had only a minute before it was my turn, there was a moment my heart felt like it was going to bust through my chest. I took a deep breath and surrendered. I allowed myself to be a vessel. An instrument. When I was up on that stage, I felt so connected. I remember the mic didn't work right off the bat, and somehow the words kept flowing while I held the thought of wondering if I should keep going. But I went with it. And I flowed. I became a channel. Not worrying about the words.. About the speech. I trusted, opened my mouth and my body and it just came through me.
  7. Receive. When we channel, or become the instrument, we must be open to receive. If we fight it and resist - wanting to stay in control, wanting for it to be perfect or however we want it, we get stuck. Receive. We are just instruments of the Universe. Life just flows through us. It is when we resist that things get stuck - stagnant energy, stagnant emotions, memories, moods, beliefs, disease. Just accept, flow and receive. 

This was definitely the most important event of my career so far. I am grateful I was able to do it and that I made it my job so I got the outcome I wanted. I wanted to be proud of it so I could share it with pride and confidence. 

Anything in life that is hard is good. Nothing worth doing is easy. It's how we grow. 

Do you dream of doing something big? Maybe it's TEDx? Maybe its something else. I'd love to hear about it! 

xo

M

Why Do We Question Our Rise?

The rising sun does not think about whether to rise each morning. It does not question its potential or  its ability to rise. It surrenders to its purpose, its calling, its own wisdom without a second of doubt and rises each morning with brilliance and radiance. This is your potential. This is who you are. You are just as magnificent as the sun, with the potential to rise each morning. We only stop ourselves from rising with our limited mind. 

What would life be like if the sun had free will?

I have been pondering this question for quite some time. I can tell you that after working with LOTS of women over the last 3 and a half years, I have come to conclusion that it is because we have simply forgotten. We come into this life with part of us as a blank slate - the biological part of us that gets molded during pregnancy, during childhood, and throughout our lives. While the other part of us, our soul, keeps us connected to our truth - who we really are. I feel so blessed as a mother, being able to have learned so much by meeting so many women, hearing their stories, learning their brains, their history, so I can see and feel the patterns that are the outcome of this molding and see how my own behavior and energy is currently molding my children, and how they are molding me.

So what are we remembering exactly? That we are the source of all creation. That we have only taken into account part of us - our biological part- when we call ourselves by our names. That we have forgotten to know our soul, wholly and completely. There is a massive shift happening towards this remembering at this very moment, as we continue to evolve, an evolution that is happening right now, at this very minute. 

And so my question for you today is: what would life be like if you woke up every morning with a certainty, a knowingness, so natural it IS YOU, about your potential - like the knowingness the sun has to rise, or the knowingness a caterpillar has when it enters the cocoon, that all will be exactly as it should on the other end.

What would life be like for you if you knew that the word "enough" wasn't even enough, because words can't even compare to the magnificence that you are?

What would would you do if failure didn't exist? This my darling is a trick question, because failure does not exist. It is a figment of your imagination, a meaning you have created. Yesterday's failures are today's seeds of potential. All just information and energy. All here to support your growth and brilliance. 

If you find you are having fear of what is to come, and are having a challenging time surrendering to the uncertainty of the Universe and to your life, here is a Kundalini Yoga meditation for having Fear of the Future. FIND IT HERE

Sending you lots of power and peace this week! xoxo

- M

 

Are you Living? Or Are you Existing?

Something I know very well. For most of my life, my choices were based on what was happening externally. What did the world want? What would be pleasing to the people around me? What can I choose or do that would gain me the most acceptance? How can I continue to get reassurance that I am liked and that there is harmony? How can I avoid conflict? 

A very exhausting way to live. Never in flow. Always in resistance. Resistance with myself. It was scary to just be. What does that even mean? 

It wasn't until 2 major things happened in my life - I became a mom and I became an entrepreneur that things started subtly shifting. I didn't even know it. Next thing you know, I'm making leaps and bounds, selling my law firm and living a life I always wanted. 

But, because this is a life long journey, the lesson was sure to come back again.. and so it did. This year. I got the stage I wanted. TEDx. And I got poked. Over and over again. Worried. Tormented. Until I wanted to give up. I actually thought about giving up -  a recurring conversation I had with my husband - because I was scared. Terrified. Scared of doing great. Scared of doing bad. Just plain scared. All of a sudden I didn't know what I was doing anymore. And it spread. I started questioning EVERYTHING. I had an infestation of doubt. And I stopped all of my daily tools, routines. I became exhausted. 

And then a week ago my father had a stroke. His health took a downward turn and he found himself helpless with little movement and lots of sadness. Wishing he had more time. Unfulfilled wishes. And it was a slap in the face. Everything I was taking for granted. Seriously?? This is how I was going to let it all go down?? 

I'm sad for my father. I'm thankful we spent time together. I'm humbled by the Universe and it's profound messages. I'm grateful for my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

I want to live. I don't want to wait until it's too late to feel alive. Because feeling alive doesn't just have to be a momentary thing. We can have this more times than not - I know this. 

So my question to you is - are you living, or are you just existing? 

 

 

 

Redefine Yourself.

You think you are your name. You think you are this identity. This is only a part of who you are. You are SO MUCH MORE than this name. You are undefinable. 

We limit ourselves by our own identity and who we think we are in the world. You have defined yourself based on how you see yourself, your behavior, your action, what you look like - your personality. Even if you think highly of yourself, you think you are the best at everything you do- it is still limited. Because you are undefinable. 

You have limited yourself within flesh and skin-like boundaries, a beginning and an end where the environment meets you and you meet it. But this is false. It is an illusion. There is no boundary. You are the environment. You are all of it. You are me too. You are all of us. You are everything. 

How different would life be like if you were coming from that place as if it were real. As if it were true? How would it affect your decision-making if you woke up every morning as if you were the Universe, and not you - the you who slept on the wrong side of the bed, or the you that needs coffee to wake up, or the you that needs to brush your teeth? What if you woke up like - I am the coffee and I am the toothbrush. And I am the sun. And I am the sky. And I am the galaxies, and my strangers, and the ocean, and the roots in the ground. I not only created it all, but I AM All of it. Powerful enough to keep the earth orbiting around the sun. Powerful to keep the tides rising. Powerful to give the sun it's light. Powerful to give the stars in the night sky it's twinkle. Powerful enough to keep the plants breathing and make babies in my belly and to keep my heart beating without trying to. 

You are powerful my dear. All you have to do is believe. Redefine yourself today as undefinable. This is you. 

How Often Do You Use Your "Powers"?

The day I found out the "secret" about the Universe, I remember feeling almost upset that I hadn't learned it earlier. That the first part of my life was a sham - so much unneeded suffering. I eventually got over it as I became more aware, more connected, realizing that I wasn't ready to receive the information, which is why I hadn't learned it until then. But at the time, I couldn't understand why I wasn't taught that in school. Rather than learning theories and taking classes that I would never use in real life, why wasn't I taught about my inherent power of intelligence? Why wasn't I taught that I could collapse invisible waves of information into particles of my desire using my thoughts and feelings? Why wasn't I taught how to meditate or that mindfulness would expand my brain so much that I could become smarter, sharper and better at dealing with the stresses of life?  That would've been helpful!!

So when I had the chance, I left my old career of being an attorney so I can educate the world of this Truth. My goal is that one day it will be in schools, that this knowledge will be so mainstream and stop being classified as WOO WOO.

And when I became a mom, it became a part of my mission to educate my kids about the Truth about who they are. My daughter, now 5, knows about her chakras, that she is energy and is a part of everything in her reality. She knows the trees are alive and that we are all connected. She knows she has "powers" and has used it already to manifest things in her life. 

The other day my mom was in town visiting, and told me this story of their escapades out and about. They were in search of a store to buy something she needed for school. When they got to the store, it looked as if it were closed. My mom said, "Oh, I hope it's open!" My daughter replied with, "Abu, if you believe it will be open, it will be. That's how it works." 

It makes me so happy to know that she is already learning this information, about who she is - creative potential. That she is connected to others - so she can recognize herself in others. That she is connected to the Earth and that it is alive - so she can begin to take care of it. She is using this everyday and it has become who she is. This is what the future of our human race needs- for us all to wake up.

Now, if you are reading this, there is a part of you that believes you also have powers. You believe you can manifest, make things happen with your mind. The problem I see in working with my students is that they don't 100% believe they create the reality around them. There is a limited view on their own manifesting powers. You co-create the ENTIRE reality you see. That's right, YOU. For some reason, there is a manifesting movement right now that shows us we write things down or think about the things we desire, and then we try to manifest them. And if we don't see a fast turnaround (like we do with everything else in our lives) we don't believe it's really happening. But if you're a big dreamer like I am, just imagine what might need to happen in order to make your dreams a reality. Things need to be built or broken down. People need to shift around. You need to be ready and have created space for this thing you've asked for. Subtle shifts occurring in the Universe that you can't see. But believe it. You've got powers, baby.

So how am I so damn sure? Well for starters, it's been proven. I've read the research on how just by observing i.e. thinking, we can collapse the wave-particle function , i.e. manifest. I've also experienced this for years myself. I think and I see it happen. And the more aware I become - because it neverends - you think you're aware now, but believe me, you never stop - I see more and feel more. 

So I want to ask you, how often are you using your powers? Daily? Weekly? Only when you do a vision board or when you have time to journal? If you really believed in all of this, wouldn't you only focus on what you want ALL THE TIME? Why would you focus on anything else??

This should be a daily and then moment to moment practice. Practice being present as often as you can remember. Start your day off with a meditation and visualization, then think about the intentions you want to set. What do you want to accomplish? Who do you need to be today? You'll realize how much faster and efficient life will become once you work smarter - using your mind, using intentions - rather than harder - more doing, acting. 

Connect to the ideal version of you - because in some potential reality, the happy, healthy version of you ALREADY exists. You just need to let her show up and you can do this by BEING her already. Don't get tripped up with what your reality looks like and that "something" needs to occur first. Just BElieve it. And then let me know. Because I love hearing these stories! And if you have one that I believe will help the world, I'll interview you for my book coming out this Winter. 

Stay Mindful, 

Monica

 

 

Love is Who We Are.

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As a mom with 2 kids, and EVERYTHING else I do currently - I can lose myself quickly. I used to feel guilty anytime I'd lose my patience or when I'd get frustrated and flustered. Then I realized- I'm not perfect, I will never be perfect, and that is OK because I am human and I need to ALWAYS be growing, especially as a Spiritual Teacher. 

When you allow acceptance into your life, the energy shifts from resistance to flow. It becomes a beautiful opportunity every time, and you can actually see it that way. Now, it is not always easy, believe me. When I'm knee high with Barbies, paint, slime and also trying to answer client texts and emails - I get stressed. But this is where I have learned to let love lead. 

Love is what and who we are. It is fear and everything else that we have learned and become. This is evident by nature - everything flows with loving kindness. The bee doesn't hate you when it stings you. The flower doesn't get frustrated when it cannot reach the light. The sun doesn't feel competitive over the moon. There is only love. 

So when we can tap into this ourselves - love for ourselves, love for each other, letting go of the resistance, shaking off the stagnation, releasing anything we are holding on to, and instead loving and being here - JUST HERE, right now with ourselves, with each other, we are ALWAYS at our best. Because our best is who we really are. When we think too much or limit ourselves or others, we put up walls, protection, ego, judgment - fear runs the show. 

So here are some ways to invite more love into your body, mind and life:

  1. Meditate - meditation slows your mind down, it connects you to the parts of your brain that activate empathy, altruism, compassion, overriding the limbic fear and stress response part of your brain. It also allows you to stop reacting, see the world for what it really is - love and information, rather than any past meanings we have created in our minds. Here is one of my favorites that will open your heart. CLICK HERE
  2. Allow- bring love in, requires us to allow it in. We must be open to receive as there is a flowing through that happens. If we resist it because of fear or judgment, we stop the flow in our lives and into the collective. Allow it in - be vulnerable, and open. Love fearlessly and don't expect anything in return. 
  3. Accept- we must accept who we have become and who we see others as in order to bring more love into our lives. When we don't accept, we create resistance in our minds which causes suffering. We become uneasy about things and again stop the flow. Accept and you shall see things move. 
  4. Respond- Life is simply responding back to you at every moment - an energetic reflection of you. Everything - us, you, me, everything belong to a fluid field of energy that is who we are, within us, through us, and connects us. Thus, everything that comes into your awareness is feedback or a response to you. Learn to simply respond back. Anything other than simply responding back to this information is resistance. 

When we learn to become more aware, we can do all of these thing with ease, because it is our true essence. Awareness allows us to tap into this true part of ourselves. Everything that isn't awareness isn't who we REALLY are - it is the parts of us that hold on, resist, fear and judge. 

Learn more about awareness and become an Aware Self in my newest program! Click here for more details! 

The Stranger Myth: We Were Meant to Meet

You're waiting in line at the coffee shop and the person behind you sparks up a conversation with you about the scones. Next thing you know, you exchange something unexpected - maybe a message you were waiting for. Maybe a lesson or reminder. Maybe even just a smile that you needed. How did they know? What a coincidence! Right when I needed it! How is that possible? 

Ever have a moment of reflection like that? Well I'm here to tell you that strangers are not real. There is no such thing as a stranger. I know - I know. You're mom told you not to say hello to strangers. Meaning, don't talk to anyone you don't already know, except for friends, family etc. Which may be why it might be hard for you to get comfortable with speaking to people you don't know - just a quick note. But I'm here to debunk your mom, and here's why... 

Let's start from the beginning. Can you agree with me that there are no coincidences? There is a certain "order" in the Universe that orchestrates the world with a certain precision or intelligence. Therefore there are no "coincidences" or "mistakes". Because if there were, then we would be saying that there is a flaw or mistake in the fabric of the Universe and that is false. Based on the fact that there are no coincidences or mistakes, then there must be a purpose for everything. Everything is intentionally created. If it wasn't supposed to be there, it just wouldn't be. If it exists, there must have been a reason for it's existence or else it wouldn't exist at all. The mere existence of something, tells us there is a purpose. So based on this idea, people can never be "strangers". This is what I call the Divinity of Relationships. 

Let's go back to the coffee shop example. Although you may not personally know (or think you know) the person who sparks up a conversation with you, based on the Divinity of Relationships, you were both supposed to be there at that exact moment, standing in line next to each other. If you weren't both meant to be there, then you just wouldn't be there or someone would be minutes late, and the encounter would never happen. Therefore it is a Divine Encounter , an encounter of purpose and meaning. What's interesting is that because most of us carry that old "Don't talk to strangers" tape in our heads from childhood, we don't see the opportunity of speaking with people we don't know. 

Let's take it back to the coffee shop. The Divinity of Relationships tells us that based on the ancient spiritual principles and science of energy, every single person at the coffee shop at that exact moment or any given moment, is supposed to be there. Therefore, theoretically if you went up to every single person and sparked up a conversation, there would be meaning in the encounter for you or for them. No mistakes or coincidences! 

The realization of this idea has transformed how I see my life. I used to be super shy and uncomfortable with speaking to people I didn't know. But once I realized that I was missing out on opportunities - opportunities to learn or teach, and they were all meant for me - no matter where I was - then I shifted my perspective and now I make a point to speak to anyone I can. 

Sometimes it's just a smile or a hello. Maybe its being compassionate to someone if they are in a bad mood or having a bad day. Maybe it's a conversation so they know they matter. Whoever it is, I try to leave them in a better place than when they met me. It has become a way of being and it's made me happier because I'm in alignment with the natural flow of the Universe (rather than resistance) and I'm giving the gift of attention. It's a win win. Not to mention, I always gain something too. Maybe it's the smile I need, or a message, or a connection. It's an opportunity that we usually miss because we think we are separate. We are all connected, all one, all a piece of the fabric of the Universe. One love, baby. 

I challenge you to debunk the Stranger Myth this week. Try it out - see every encounter as an opportunity. Could be on the phone with customer service or at the coffee shop. Maybe it's a birthday party or the ladies bathroom. No coincidences. No mistakes. 

 

 

The Confidence Factor

So I'm having an event February 11 called the Confidence Factor (You can check it out here). 

And I decided to have this event because over the past month in talking to women I've had a lot of self-reflection of where I came from. I've been telling my story of where I am now and where I was, but I guess I hadn't really stopped and thought about it - the immense transformation I have gone through. 

The Universe provided me with opportunities this month to remember so I wanted to share it with you.

That I had zero confidence and self-esteem which affected me in every area of my life. I remember being such an amazing athlete and giving up before the finish line because I was afraid. Not jumping on opportunities because I was too scared. Not telling someone how I really felt because of fear. No self-care, I was promiscuous, and didn't value my worth.  I was addicted to drinking and drugs and escaping constant from my reality. 

I didn't actually realize I was smart until law school, and I didn't fully own it until much later. I had an unhealthy relationship with food and my body. I remember being so mean to myself and the names I would call myself in my head. 

I had no friends. No relationships. I ruined all of them with fear and avoidance of conflict. 

That at one point, my marriage was a co-dependent relationship where I depended on my husband to fulfill me and complete me in all the voids of my life. So when he decided to have a life or he started to become successful I was filled with severe insecurity and jealousy and fear which almost broke us apart. 

I felt like a victim to my own life. Chaos. Powerlessness. Holding myself to impossible standards which set myself up for failure. Seeing a vision of who I wanted to be, but not believing in myself enough to try to get there. 

I can put myself back there and see it.

And then I remember reaching my 30's and there was one birthday where I woke up and thought, holy shit, I love myself! I don't want to be anyone else! 

And I've only fallen deeper and deeper in love with myself since. Embracing all of my scars, cracks, imperfections, and flaws. It's what makes me, ME. And I wouldn't change a damn thing. 

I'll be sharing my journey on February 11, along with what I did (and what I do daily) to keep stepping up my game. 

You can register here if you'd like to join me. 

Feel it. See it. Be it.

Wow! This year has been one hell of a year already!! Scared the crap out of myself a few times, but it was all worth it. Limits give us comfort, that's why they're there. So when we push them, the process can be a little scary.

This has been the theme of my year so far. Pushing my limits.

As you may know if you've been following my journey, I had a HUGE fear of public speaking. Terrified of connection, vulnerability, authenticity and communication, aka PEOPLE. So instead of running towards them, I'd run away. I'd avoid conflict and all conversations generally, especially with strangers. I was super comfortable with the comfortable. Until one day, I decided to change all of that. A simple (not easy) decision.

So after pushing myself for about a couple years now, into this new realm of public speaking, I am happy to say I am done being afraid of it. So much so, that I actually love it. 

My dream has always been to speak about things that I'm passionate about and that matter to the world on stages that create change. My big dream is to travel the world as a global leader of change, speaking my passion about humanity and compassion as a humanitarian to inspire change in the world. 

About a couple of months ago when this all showed up for me in a meditation, I decided that this was going to happen and so I started to visualize it. 

Then a few weeks ago I got the opportunity to apply to speak in front of a crowd of 10,000 people about my message, and so I applied - what the hell, right?

And when I got selected, I don't think I understood the magnitude of this until... I got on stage. 

Being terrified was an understatement LOL! You could feel the energy of the crowd penetrating your veins. It was so overwhelming. 

But thank goodness I had visualized this moment over and over again in the days leading up to this event, so I was able to get myself centered quickly as I had done so many times in my visualization. 

You see breaking limits are scary because we don't know what's beyond them. What would we see or feel? What would the consequence be? Can I handle it? 

But when you experience it a few times before it actually happens, it takes some of the "scary" out of it. 

So I invite you to try to live more intentionally. You can do this on a daily basis or right before you're about to break the rooftop off. 
What does it feel like? 
What do you see? 
Who do you need to be? 
Connect to it. Feel it. See it. BE IT. 

I use this technique (modified and expanded of course) with myself and my clients and the outcome is INCREDIBLE.

Want more confidence? 
Want less fear?
Want more love? 
Want more power? 

Visualize it. 

You are SO powerful. All you have to do is believe. 

Watch my speech here:

 

 

Monotasking in the Workplace

Have you heard of the term Monotasking yet? 

It's when you focus on one task at a time, versus multitasking where you focus on a variety of tasks at a time. 

What's interesting is for the longest time, people believed that multitasking was a great quality. We even put it on resumes as a skill. 

But there’s a lot of different research showing that if you do several different things at one time, you make so many errors, it’s done carelessly, you have to go back and redo things, other people have to correct you. So now there’s more of a shift towards ‘How do we train our brains to do one thing at a time again with total attention?' -->THE ART OF MONOTASKING.

So what exactly are the benefits of monotasking? You are left feeling more focused and with greater clarity to work strategically because you have your full attention in one place, all your creativity channeled to one task. 

Companies are seeing this as now seeing this as performance enhancement which boots productivity and ultimately profit. 

Are you a multitaskter or a monotasker? I'd love to hear your comments!